Archive for Republican
August 20, 2006 at 11:26 pm
· Filed under Republican
“Conservatives for a long time were in protective mode, wanting to emphasize the progress in Iraq to contrast what they felt was an unfair attack on the war by the Democrats and media and other sources,” Rich Lowry, editor of the National Review, said in an interview. “But there’s more of a sense now that things are on a downward trajectory, and more of a willingness to acknowledge it and pressure the administration to react to it.” (Washington Post)
TRANSLATION:
I will write positive or negative things about Bush in direct proportion to his poll numbers. Luckily, I’m in the media so I don’t have to worry about being held accountable for my opinions.
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August 20, 2006 at 11:14 pm
· Filed under President, Republican
“We are a party that gravitates toward front-runners.” (New York Times)
TRANSLATION:
McCain is going to have to rely on being a perpetual front-runner because the party faithful will turn on him in a second if he shows any weakness in the polls.
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August 14, 2006 at 11:40 pm
· Filed under George Allen, President, Republican
“I would never want to demean him as an individual. I do apologize if he’s offended by that. That was no way the point.” (Washington Post)
TRANSLATION:
I know what I said. Hopefully this will blow over in the mainstream media…but I’ll secure the rural racist vote in the meantime.
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August 7, 2006 at 2:35 pm
· Filed under Congress, John Thune, Republican
“I’m going to take a pass. It’s not the right fit for me, at least not right now. I still have a daughter at home, and this would have meant missing a lot of her activities…and in terms of the stuff I have to focus on for South Dakota right now, I just didn’t think I had the bandwidth to do it all.” (Rapid City Journal)
TRANSLATION:
It looks like we’re going to get killed in the Senate in 2008 and I don’t want to be associated with that. I have too bright a political future to waste it on a lost cause.
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August 4, 2006 at 1:54 am
· Filed under President, Republican
“The impact of Katrina was profound,” said former White House press secretary Ari Fleischer. “It caught a tired White House staff off guard and turned out to be one of the most damaging events of his presidency.” (Washington Post)
TRANSLATION:
The implication is we were too exhausted by Democratic attacks on Iraq to focus on Katrina. I hope that readers understand this, I’m used to talking in deliberately misleading phrases.
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August 4, 2006 at 1:32 am
· Filed under Congress, Kay Bailey Hutchinson, Republican
“It is an excuse to make it a do-nothing Congress,” Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison, Republican of Texas, said. “And we are turning our back on the middle-class and poor people in this country who depend on the minimum wage and death-tax relief.” (New York Times)
TRANSLATION:
Even though voters who “depend on the minimum wage AND death-tax relief” may consist of 0, hopefully some voters will replace the AND with an OR. I want to make Democrats look like they’re doing nothing for the rich or the poor.
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August 3, 2006 at 12:39 am
· Filed under Cities/States, Judy Baar Topinka, Republican
“Enough is enough. I really think the people of Illinois deserve a straight and honest answer about your investigations and your legal bills,” Topinka, the state treasurer, said of Blagojevich. “This is a law firm that has a reputation for being very good at white-collar crime, so considering what we’ve just gone through with George Ryan, then you see this huge bill, it leads one to suppositions.” (Chicago Tribune)
TRANSLATION:
What the hell do I have to do to get people to notice that their governor is even being illegal about the way he fights his crimes in court. How am I losing to this guy??
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August 1, 2006 at 1:00 am
· Filed under Bill Frist, President, Republican
“It was recently discovered that Senator Frist’s Senate financial disclosure forms may contain some inadvertent errors which are under review and will be promptly corrected by amending his financial disclosure.” (Washington Post)
TRANSLATION:
Hopefully this sounds complicated enough that most voters won’t care he kept this foundation off the books.
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July 30, 2006 at 11:27 pm
· Filed under Mitt Romney, President, Republican
”I’ll get the blame for anything that goes wrong…but I’m sure tired of people who are nothing but talk. I’m willing to take action.” (New York Times)
TRANSLATION:
I’ve got a credible candidacy, but I need something more to have a chance at breaking out of the pack. I’m willing to take the risk of having control over the Big Dig, but I also want this risk to be recognized so I can cash in politically later if I pull it off.
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July 30, 2006 at 11:18 pm
· Filed under Consultants, Karl Rove, Republican
”It’s odd to me that most of these critics are journalists and columnists…perhaps they don’t like sharing the field of play. Perhaps they want to draw attention away from the corrosive role their coverage has played focusing attention on process and not substance.” (New York Times)
TRANSLATION:
Time to soften up the media again so that they’ll put out some puff pieces of the Bush Administration to “prove” their fair.
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